Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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