No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
