Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize