bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
