guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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