You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
