I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
