I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
