Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you traded sex for a burrito?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
