all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
