Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
