I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
