You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Randomize
