Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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