which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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