The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
