my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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