similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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