make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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