The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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