I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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