On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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