we made out on top of his cat.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
