I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
