I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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