He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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