please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the condom got lost in my hair
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
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Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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