Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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