you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
