What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
