she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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