i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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