You just made me feel so damn special
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the day after is always just damage control
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
