Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize