theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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