office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
