I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
