insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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