She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
