who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
