so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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