OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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