so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
