Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
