I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
