That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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