what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
