I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
sex in a hospital.. check
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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