CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
