I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
