SEEEEXXX PLEASE
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
