forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
