marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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