Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
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I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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