he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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