Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize