You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
