I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
