i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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