Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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