So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
